I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t get this breaking news to everyone right away! The image above is provided by the Interactions Imagebank, which is an amazing collection of particle physics related images and materials, including large galleries of the LHC! Anyhow, back to this breaking science.
FWD: Earthside Massive
Subject: New element discovered
The Heaviest Element Known to Science
Laboratories Lawrence Livermore has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isotopes’.
This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administration, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
I’m pretty sure we already have some models of what the proposed “Administration” would exist in. Some have theorized that an experiment using an imaginary model of a process called “election” will deliver some new answers. We shall see.